Today is the 17th of June, and that reminds me that it is Father’s Day. This is a very special day that unfortunately passes unnoticed by most wives, children and even by dads themselves. I have always noticed that Father’s Day does not receive the same attention and celebration as Mother’s Day, and I ask myself why dads are not celebrated as highly as mothers.
It appears culture and tradition has an explanation to this unequal attitude towards celebrating fathers and mothers. Since time in history, societies have projected fathers or rather men in general to the strongest among humans on whose shoulders rest the toughest of responsibilities to protect wives and children and defend communities. In some cultures, it is a disgrace for the father to shed tears even when his spirit is torn apart and his heart broken. When a child or a woman is frustrated, they cry out and release the tension bottled inside them, but men are expected to be strong. Most people, in most culture have always considered it not only a sign of weakness but also a betrayal to the status of masculinity when a man cries. From tender ages, boys have been advised against crying anyhow as if they are girls.
As a result, the society has conditioned fathers to hide their fears to their wives and children so as not to look weak or vulnerable. But men suffer a lot as they carry and bear the weight of responsibilities and expectations that their wives and children load on them. Men absorb the weight of the world as much of the suffering and fears of the world fall on their shoulders to be strong to guide and protect their wives and children and give them hope of a better tomorrow. But while fathers appear to be strong and show courage in the face of difficulties to cast rays of hope in moments of darkness to inspire their wives and children, many dads suffer inside and they suffer silently and alone.
But some medical and health statistics show that dads who fail to get emotional support due to their laborious quest to defend their masculinity are prone to die early due to heart attacks, high blood pressure, distress and other related diseases and medical conditions. In fact, they are more vulnerable to suicidal thoughts, and most of them do commit suicide. And some of the fathers only have a chance to offload stressful burdens off their hearts at the very point of ending their lives whereby they write down suicides notes. It is a very sad thing and heartrending moment to read a suicide note from a dead father who suffered alone in silence and tried hard to be strong and only shared their load of pressure and fear through a suicide note.
Today as we commemorate Fathers’ Day, I do not want to join those that ignore how special our fathers are or were. I want to stand with those that understand and appreciate that men and women or rather fathers and mothers are equally special and deserve our celebration. I refuse to ignore father, and my special message to dads around the world, is that you are awesome and very special. You are strong, but always appreciate that you are human and therefore share the same weakness of our mothers. Do not suffer in silence to prove that you are a man or a father. Cry when it hurts and complain when you must. Share your fears with your spouses and children. Let them know when you are down so that they can give you emotional support. Let your wife and your children be your strength when you are weak. That way, you will live happier and longer.
Always remember that as a father you are the role model to your children. Your daughters look towards you as an example for the husband they will have and your sons look to you as an example of how a husband project himself to his family. We can do much better than we do now if we can accept that we also need support. As your fellow dad, I am extremely happy to wish you a wonderful and Happy Father’s Day. You may not get a gift today, but you still remain the hero to your family. I pray that this message reach all the dads around the world.
HOPE TO LIVE BY 